pity, love, gringa hotness

Ok, as volunteers, we make very little money. But, I always have money left over. Partly, because I never really travel or stay in hotels. It’s that over integration/site rat aspect of me. The rest is mostly related to the fact that I get pretty much everything given to me. I attribute this to three factors: love, pity, and gringa hotness.

First, gringa hotness. It is a well known fact to any white girl to appear in Panama that Panamanian men love gringas. Any moment I walk down the street, I am greeted with hisses, “I love you”s, and “hellos.” I am pretty sure that most men I run into, whether 12 year old boys, or heads of government agencies, have hit on me. But, this gringa hotness has its advantages. For example, I went to Carnaval with two other volunteers. We got some free beers, and my friend even got her bus fare paid for. I get offered free rides pretty much anywhere I go. There’s nothing that pulls the heart strings of a Panamanian man like a gringa walking on the side of the road. He is obligated to try and offer her a lift. I have even been offered free rides from taxis and busses. This leads into the second.

Pity: That’s right, that poor girl was walking by herself under the sun on the side of the road. She needs a ride. Of course, I’m pretty sure when people in my town look at me, they just see this poor girl, who’s down here living by herself without her family. Most of the questions I get asked are just whether I miss my family and if I’m scared to live alone. Plus, they are pretty sure I can’t cook. So, I get so much food, or rides, or whatever help they can offer me. I know most male volunteers don’t even have to wash their clothes, they are so pitied for being alone, without a mom or a wife.

Finally, love: I was one describing to one of my friends in site my theories of pity and “gringa sexy.” He laughed, but then told me that I was wrong. People like me and want to bless me with things. I am used to going to visit people and shoot the breeze. Usually, I also get offered a little cup of juice or a cookie, or if I hit the jackpot, a whole meal. But, the other day, I answered my front door to find my neighbor from across the street at my door with some soup for me, and even a little extra food for my dog. It was a revelation, she either pitied or loved me so much, that she would bring me food, and I didn’t even have to visit her (though I do regularly, don’t worry).

It’s things like these that I will definitely miss back in the states, where no one even says hi or helps strangers. Is there a town that will take me in and adopt me with all the love I’ve received here in Panama when I go back in a year and a half?