Poco a Poco

They have a little saying here in Peace Corps Panama about “Poco a Poco.” It translates to little by little. They often use it to refer to the slow pace of change. If you thought you were going to show up in your community and on day two be changing the world…think again. Fast paced DC life is behind, people take a laid back approach to things, and change is always slow. Think about your work as poco a poco. In some ways this is true. Now well into my second year of service, I have much more direction and work than my first year. It take a while to really know your town and for things to start happening. That’s why a Peace Corps volunteer needs 2 years.
But, after today I have a new definition for poco a poco. I’m gonna say it also means take things a little at a time, as far as amount of work. After months of showing up at school and working and nothing happening, I came upon two great ideas. First, my recycling collection is going slow, even after 3 months not many people have brought stuff in and the end of the year is upon us. Why don’t we declare a competition of the classrooms with a prize for which class brings the most? Second, why don’t we introduce Panamanians to school photos? You know, class shot, individual shot, sell them? Both these started this week, with me serving as recycling coordinator and counter, photographer (actually, basically just call me Jostens, I’m in charge of the whole thing down to printing). The principal of my school talked about the ingenious idea of taking class pictures to sell, said probably soon every school would be doing it, but that our school was the first. Just, I wish I’d only had one ingenious idea at a time.
So, this morning as I was trying to count beer cans, take pictures, and keep orders, I realized I had too much. Trying to organize first graders to take pictures while another kid throws a quarter at me saying “my mom wants to buy that picture of me” and another kid comes up with “how many points does third grade have, did you see the entire wheelbarrow of cans I brought?” I started to go crazy. It was like waiting tables at a full restaurant again. I’m sure the kids could see it. But, ultimately, enthusiasm is contagious. And getting kids excited about bringing all those beer bottles their dad has sitting around behind the house, and getting a class photo (where probably 90% of families don’t own cameras). I felt I was doing something good. Especially after a year and a half of poco a poco.

back to Panama

Back to my site after visiting the U.S. Some people told me they’d been worried that I was going to stay in the U.S. and that I was missed. It actually wasn’t very weird being gone. Though, I’m sure in ten months it will be. I was super happy to see that my recycling project had gone ahead without my presence. The teachers seemed to manage it just fine despite their worries that they wouldn’t be able to do it without me. Hey, that’s the sustainability us Peace Corps volunteers go for.
I’m also going to take on a new role: Regional Leader. It’s a volunteer that helps with volunteer support and agency relations at the regional level (like, for my province). Somewhat of a promotion. I’ll see if the new responsibilities become overwhelming or not. I don’t officially start until November, so the next month is for preparing and learning the ropes.

visit to the U.S.

I am currently here in my last day for my first (and probably only) visit to the U.S. during Peace Corps Service. It wasn't as wierd coming back as I thought it was going to be. I've been enjoying my time eating delicious food, doing a little shopping, seeing friends, and playing with my parents adorable new puppy. My main reason for coming was to see my friend Michelle get married in Boston, which was really nice. Though I didn't do too much shopping because the prices are a lot higher than what I'm used to or what I can afford.

Things that were different or wierd:
Obviously, I was observing a different wealth level and standard of living, but I guess I was prepared for that so it didn't shock me too much.
Touch screen phones. When I left the U.S. the blackberry and iPhone existed, but I only knew a handful of people that had one. When I come back, everyone has these snazzy touch phones and make fun of the ones that close. I'm used to people admiring my phone because it has a color screen, so it was wierd.
Realized I'd gone a year and a half without seeing anyone drink Starbucks. Didn't miss that at all.
Mostly it surprised me how expensive stuff was. The exact same Snickers that cost $1 here costs 60 cents there. I'm used to full dinners at restaurants for $2 and sodas for 35 cents. Blowing my day's wages to split a cab with some people was hard for me.
Going to a Kings of Leon concert since they've become popular. I've been a fan of this band for like 6 years. Used to seeing them at small clubs. I came back and went to Merriweather to see them with my brother. I was not feeling to sorority girls around us that only knew like 2 songs.
And mostly, the political situation in the country. This was my first time in the country with a President Obama. I watched that Obama speech where someone yells out "Lies!" and heard all this coverage about parents refusing to send their kids to school so they wouldn't hear the president talk about studying and staying in school. As I thought about Health Care, I just felt this sinking feeling that nothing would get solved with all this petty fighting. I remember Bush and how much people disliked him, but this level of disrespect and division was really disheartening to view in my country.

Happy 4th!

People always tell me nasty things about not updating my blog. I just honestly don´t have too much to report in a public space like the internet
I have now been in my town for one year. Work goes slow, but the initial worries about people liking or hating me are long gone. I now have a small town full of family. We finished a lot of work related to community events for the provincial anniversary back in May. Now I´m spending most of my time working in a few different schools. My sister Jessica and uncle Dale (whose name means Do it! in Spanish) was just here visiting. No more visits are on the docket besides my own to the U.S. in September. Start making plans to visit me people! I know the economy is bad but a full dinner here costs $1.75!

update (the few and far between)

Sorry I don’t update the blog much. In the past month, I have had two groups of friends come to visit. So, I got to play hostess and travel around the country a little. The first trip was a total disaster, with one glaring lesson: never fly Delta. Listen to that advice people. I have two words for you. Come visit me, but don’t fly Delta when you do. The second trip went off wonderfully, until the last day when insane Easter traffic jams led to a missed return flight. Lesson on that one: everyone and their mother (literally) are traveling to Panama City on Easter to go home after Holy Week, do not travel that day.
We also had an All-Volunteer Conference, so I got to see some of my other volunteers.
I also realized that this blog is now one year old. On April 16th, I finished one year of being in Panama. Since service is 27 months, I’m still a little short of half way. But, I have to say, looking back on the past year. I’m not sure I’ve accomplished very much in terms of saving the world, but I’ve had a lot of fun, learned a lot of new things about the world, am immensely looking forward to the next year, and it will be hard to leave.

pity, love, gringa hotness

Ok, as volunteers, we make very little money. But, I always have money left over. Partly, because I never really travel or stay in hotels. It’s that over integration/site rat aspect of me. The rest is mostly related to the fact that I get pretty much everything given to me. I attribute this to three factors: love, pity, and gringa hotness.

First, gringa hotness. It is a well known fact to any white girl to appear in Panama that Panamanian men love gringas. Any moment I walk down the street, I am greeted with hisses, “I love you”s, and “hellos.” I am pretty sure that most men I run into, whether 12 year old boys, or heads of government agencies, have hit on me. But, this gringa hotness has its advantages. For example, I went to Carnaval with two other volunteers. We got some free beers, and my friend even got her bus fare paid for. I get offered free rides pretty much anywhere I go. There’s nothing that pulls the heart strings of a Panamanian man like a gringa walking on the side of the road. He is obligated to try and offer her a lift. I have even been offered free rides from taxis and busses. This leads into the second.

Pity: That’s right, that poor girl was walking by herself under the sun on the side of the road. She needs a ride. Of course, I’m pretty sure when people in my town look at me, they just see this poor girl, who’s down here living by herself without her family. Most of the questions I get asked are just whether I miss my family and if I’m scared to live alone. Plus, they are pretty sure I can’t cook. So, I get so much food, or rides, or whatever help they can offer me. I know most male volunteers don’t even have to wash their clothes, they are so pitied for being alone, without a mom or a wife.

Finally, love: I was one describing to one of my friends in site my theories of pity and “gringa sexy.” He laughed, but then told me that I was wrong. People like me and want to bless me with things. I am used to going to visit people and shoot the breeze. Usually, I also get offered a little cup of juice or a cookie, or if I hit the jackpot, a whole meal. But, the other day, I answered my front door to find my neighbor from across the street at my door with some soup for me, and even a little extra food for my dog. It was a revelation, she either pitied or loved me so much, that she would bring me food, and I didn’t even have to visit her (though I do regularly, don’t worry).

It’s things like these that I will definitely miss back in the states, where no one even says hi or helps strangers. Is there a town that will take me in and adopt me with all the love I’ve received here in Panama when I go back in a year and a half?

am I becoming too Panamanian?

I scare myself sometimes. I think I’m starting to become what you might call “over integrated.” In the past week, I’ve had at least a couple times where people told me I was Panamanian. Admittedly, they were in relation to painted nails and threatening to fight a girl with a knife over a boy (jokingly, don’t worry). Just yesterday, I arrived in Albrook mall in Panama City. When I first arrived in country, I thought, wow, this is just like a mall in the U.S. This time, my little rural self felt so uncomfortable with the shiny, expensive stores, I tried to get out as soon as possible (but, after buying a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger, of course). But, here’s another one for example. These are the shoes I brought with me:



I never use them. They sit in my “closet” (aka, the floor under the bar that holds my clothes on hangers at the foot of my bed). Here, on the other hand, are the shoes I use every day:




Oh yeah, they are ugly. In the U.S. I would have mocked them. But, here I find them strangely attractive. Look at those orange jellies. The other day I went to the creek with some girls from my town. I was wearing some Teva Flip-flops. Every single one of them and their mother were wearing these shoes. They looked at my Tevas in disdain. The next time I went to David, I immediately bought myself a pair of those jellies for 1.59. The next day when I walked into my manicure class, they ladies just admired them and smiled at me. Probably thinking, finally we’ve started to help this poor gringa.

But seriously, while other volunteers like to travel and visit other parts of the country, I start to feel uncomfortable being outside of my town, my home, for even an afternoon. It’s gonna be super hard in a year and a half.

what´s new

Sorry I don´t update this blog very often. Life continues to be busy and interesting, but not really in ways that can be put in words and posted on the internet. I am enjoying the summer here. I went to the beach in a busload with my community. Plus, plenty of little trips to the swimming hole in the river. I´m still working too (well, a little). I have an English class twice a week, am working on my girl scouts troop, planning for the next school year, and translating for some hikes, plus I continue to accept all meeting invitations (and social invitations as well) and attending various conferences. I’m even taking a class in manicure and pedicure with other woman in the community. Who knew that I might return from Peace Corps ready to start a salon! Of course, the start date of school here got pushed back from March to April. In some ways this is good, because I was not as prepared as I thought I’d be and I have another month of “vacation”. But, in some ways, the kids will be missing out on a month of learning. The days contain their disappointments and surprises. The other day, after a sad girl scouts meeting, when only two girls came, I was pleasantly surprised by the arrival of a donation of 4 tanks to use for the school recycling project.
I also went and celebrated a little bit of Carnaval yesterday. I didn’t go all out and travel to the Azuero peninsula like my compatriots, but opted rather for a half a day in a nearby city. I missed out of the parades, mostly it just consisted of a pit of people drinking and getting hosed down (by representatives of the political parties, nonetheless). Somewhat fun, but hopefully people fit in enough sin and are now ready for Ash Wednesday and Lent.
Sorry for the sorry updates. If you want to know what’s going on. Shoot me an e-mail or give me a call.